


A Total Goner

by wearethewitches



Category: NCIS
Genre: Episode: s10e08 Gone, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Late Night Conversations, Misunderstandings, Protective Team, Team as Family, Zabby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:33:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23846038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearethewitches/pseuds/wearethewitches
Summary: They are a hurricane inside her apartment, cooking foreign dishes from their homes that don’t match, but still fit both their tastes – and after, Ziva curls up with Abby in her bed and they talk.But it is Ziva who takes the mad, thoughtless plunge.(set immediately post-Episode: s10e08 Gone)
Relationships: Ziva David/Abby Sciuto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	A Total Goner

Saying goodbye to Lydia is a happy, yet heart-breaking moment. Ziva knows that when she goes home today with her mother, they will drown in their grief – that they will mourn the missing third to their family and they will never, ever forget that loss. It is as Ziva said to her: you never get over, only through.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight,” Abby says suddenly, still staring at the place where Lydia and her mother disappeared. Ziva looks to her friend. “My mom is gone. My dad, too. I know I have my brothers, but it- it’s not fair, Ziva.”

And to Ziva, in that moment Abby looks older than she usually does, ancient and knowing and tired. Ziva slips her arm around her waist, hugging her side as she murmurs, “Of course. You may come home with me. We shall have dinner and tell stories to each other about things we do not know of each other.”

Abby’s eyes fall on her, contentment clear. “I have an overnight bag in my car.”

“Good – I do not think I would have pyjama pants long enough to fit you,” Ziva teases gently and Abby laughs, but she doesn’t move away from her arm, where it still remains tucked around her waist.

When Ziva gets home that evening, she and Abby are a hurricane inside her apartment, cooking foreign dishes from their homes that don’t match, but still fit both their tastes – and after, Ziva curls up with Abby in her bed and they talk. Abby tells Ziva about her parents and their kindness; how they laughed when she made her own Halloween costumes from cardboard and glue and how they sat with both Abby and Luke on the old sofa when they cried over how mean the kids at school were about them being deaf.

Ziva’s stories are harsher. She tells of Eli and his before-dawn training regimes and her mother’s hands-off child rearing techniques. Ziva remembers when she was sixteen and on a mission for her father, only to return home to take – and subsequently fail – her examinations, for which Eli’s reply had been less than stellar.

“Oh, Ziva,” Abby croons, moving ever closer, her skin hot against Ziva’s under the covers. Arms slip around her waist and their legs tangle; suddenly, everything feels far more intense than friendship and it makes Ziva sharp, alert and fully awake, like her own hand isn’t cradling Abby’s face, encouraging both their behaviours. Abby presses their foreheads together.

But it is Ziva who takes the mad, thoughtless plunge.

Their lips collide and perhaps it is Abby’s instinct to reciprocate, because she does – she really does, for four and a half seconds before tearing herself away. All her limbs reel in, out from under and around Ziva, her eyes bright and wide in the darkness.

“...Abby...”

Ziva has no words and apparently, neither does Abby because she changes into the prior day’s clothes and leaves without another word. From the bed, listless and silent, Ziva does not stop her.

 _What have I done,_ she asks herself, screaming at herself in her mind the moment she hears the latch go on her door. It is what she does all night, agonising over the kiss she – _she_ , Ziva David – bestowed upon Abigail Scuito, her friend and co-worker, neither sleeping nor leaving her rumpled bed. Somehow, in the morning, it is worse, because when she gets into NCIS, she hears that Abby is taking a sick day.

“She’s taking a personal day,” Gibbs says, in a way that Ziva knows means Abby called him to tell him herself – Gibbs, however, is content. Quite obviously, Abby did not tell him the events of the previous night, for if she had, Ziva has no doubt he would be glaring daggers at her.

But Abby isn’t Ziva’s only problem. She remembers this – the awkward aftermath of kissing a woman who does not want the same thing. It has happened twice in Ziva’s lifetime. The first had been in Israel and the girl had ignored Ziva for a month, before finally telling her parents. They spoke to Eli and it was the first and last time he ever smacked her across the face. The second time was kinder – if only because Ziva was an adult and Jenny was gracious about it. So gracious. Happily, post that small mishap, Jenny became her best friend of many years – her initial ‘crush’, as Jen had called it, was retrospectively adorable to them both. However, that first incident will always sting sharp in her mind; nothing else can really compare and Ziva does not want this kiss with Abby to evolve into something that can join the ranks of those incidents.

Tony notices her distraction. “What’s up with you today, ninja warrior?”

And Ziva considers telling him. Wasn’t it only recently that he pointed out they were sharing things, now? While it had been funny letting him think Shmiel was a boyfriend of some kind, this may be the kind of situation that needs...a ‘wingman’, as Tony calls it.

Standing abruptly, she jerks her head for him to follow her to the stairs and he does, instantly, heedless of the sudden stares from both Gibbs and McGee.

Once sequestered by the staircase in the square alcove, she says to Tony, “I kissed Abby last night.”

Tony’s eyes go wide. “You what, now?”

“I kissed Abby,” Ziva repeats, morose. “She was going to stay with me last night, she asked me- Tony, she called in sick today to avoid me.”

“Well, obviously,” mutters Tony, before he says, “Sorry, still processing. A kiss with Abby shouldn’t cause this much of a problem unless there are feelings involved. You’re not in love with her, are you?”

“No. I do not think so,” says Ziva. A crease forms across her brow. “She is my friend. I love her.”

“Right.” Tony runs a hand through his hair, clearly thinking deeply. It makes Ziva appreciate him more, for being such a good friend to her. It makes her happy to consider him part of her family, in times like these. He opens his mouth to speak to her, only for a familiar voice to ring put through the bullpen.

“Gibbs. Where is Ziva?”

The two agents looks around the stairs, catching sight of the women herself. To Ziva, Abby is clearly shaky, but determined to talk. Her stomach curls at the idea, nerves on fire.

“She just took off with Tony,” McGee tells her.

“The big grass,” Tony mutters.

Abby throws her hands up, stomping her foot. “Well, where did they go? I need to talk to her about last night.”

Ziva is overcome. She does not want to talk about last night, dreading what Abby has to say. Her heart pounds in her chest. Is she having a heart attack? Ziva looks to Tony, panicking.

“Tony,” she hisses.

Tony looks between the two of them and hisses back, quickfire, “What exactly happened last night?”

“We were talking in bed together,” Ziva describes at an equally hurried pace, “and I told her about my childhood with Eli for a father. We became physically close and I kissed her. She kissed me back, but then left abruptly. I could not sleep for fear I had ruined our friendship.”

Tony nods grimly, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I’ve got your six, David.”

Ziva glances out into the bullpen, where Gibbs is stubbornly trying to get Abby to admit what happened the night before, then looks back to Tony. “I know.”

“Good,” he says, stepping back. “Stay here.” And Tony walks away, striding around the staircase and then into the bullpen, Abby catching sight of him and immediately pouncing.

“Tony! Where’s Ziva? I need to talk to her!”

“Oh, is that right?” Tony asks, voice deceptively light. “And here I thought you were the one to run off on her. Not surprisingly, she’s a little wrecked over your reaction. It’s like _Titanic_ and you’re the ice-burg.”

Ziva recoils at Abby’s distraught expression, ready to bound into the bullpen to stop Tony’s tirade, his intentions clear.

“You know, Abby,” he continues, voice icy and cold, “I thought you were better than that. Ziva’s our friend. You couldn’t have let her down nicely? Why the hell did you run, rather than just talk to her, like a normal goddamn person?”

“Woah,” Gibbs intervenes, putting a tentative hand on Tony’s shoulder. He looks to Abby. “What happened with Ziva?”

Abby swallows nervously, looking to Tony as she says, “I never thought it would actually happen. I swear, I didn’t mean to hurt her – I was shocked. I didn’t know what to do. How was I supposed to reconcile the fact that Ziva – _Ziva_ – likes me like that, like I like her, when for the whole time I’ve known her, she’s never shown the slightest bit of interest in me?” Abby asks him, not even pausing before continuing to say, “And you know what? That’s not fair. I liked Kate like that, but it never would have happened for reals and I knew that, but with Ziva, it was supposed to be all, ‘I’ll pine for a year or two, then be happy when she finds love elsewhere’, but still jealous, Tony, really jealous. And-”

And Ziva cannot take any more. She does not know how she feels for Abby, except how she knows she loves her. It is a warm kind of love, that could keep her feeling like she’s home and welcome in her life forever, because she knows Abby’s love is unconditional. Hearing Abby say those things spurs her onwards, pushing past Tony to Abby, reaching to cradle her face and press their lips against hers. She hears Abby gasp at the contact, before she kisses back, arms wrapping around her waist, three cheeky fingers digging under the rim of her cotton shirt.

“...I did not expect that,” says Tony behind her, only half under his breath.

They part, Abby’s chest heaving as her eyes tear up. “Ziva-” she starts, apology clear in her voice.

“Shh,” Ziva hushes her. She would quote Gibbs’ rule at her, if they were not breaking another one now. She strokes she curve of her jaw soothingly, meeting her eyes. “I did not know you felt this way. I should have.”

“Does this mean you like me?” Abby questions, voice so fragile.

“Oh Abby,” Ziva murmurs, kissing her chastely. “I have always loved you. It just took me this long to get here and for that, I am sorry. Have you always felt this way?”

“Yeah. I was a total goner.”

Gibbs interrupts. “Abs. What’s going on? You and Ziva...”

“Are dating,” Ziva slides in smoothly, seeing the joy spark in Abby’s face as she labels what’s what. She wants to always see that joy – and on the days she doesn’t, she wants to be there to catch her when she falls.

And then, for the first time, it is Abby that leans in, capturing her lips for a final time.


End file.
